Mens rea
by Re-Rei
Summary: Translation: Guilty Mind. Guilt nibbled at his heart, when he thought about whose blood covered his hands. He could still see the pale face and the glassy eyes that stared at him with a mix of betrayal and shock.


I'm stuck. Writer went missing...again. So both Peace and Celebrate are at a standstill.

Then this appeared.

My take on what happened to Erik after the Cuban Missile Crisis. A companion piece to Broken, which is my take on what happened to Charles. But you don't have to read it to get this.

Erik's was a bit harder than Charles' (who I find is so easy and natural to write). But once I played a couple songs (all oddly fit Erik in so many ways), the ideas just kept pouring out.

I hope my writing is improving! I really do. Tell me what ya thought of it okay?

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

* * *

><p>The water felt cool against his skin. The tiny little droplets washed away all the dirt and grime that came from the beach.<p>

But no matter how hard he tired, (and he tried very, _very_ hard) he couldn't wash away the blood that stained his hands red. It coated his hands and dripped onto the floor below him. Even after washing his hands a million times, he could still see it.

Guilt nibbled at his heart, when he thought about whose blood covered his hands. He could still see the pale face and the glassy eyes that stared at him with a mix of betrayal and shock.

He covered his hands with gloves so that the blood was hidden from his sight.

***~***~Mens rea~***~***

Raven cried for her brother for many nights after the Cuban Missile Crisis. He held her in his arms until her sobs ceased.

He never spoke, he would have only made it worse.

Sometimes after crying, Raven would walk away from his embrace and re-build her walls. But most times she would stare at him with her tear-filled eyes and ask him quietly, '_Did we do the right thing?'_

He never answered her.

*******~***~Mens rea~***~*******

Even with the helmet on, he could still feel that gentle sensation of something probing around his mind. But it wasn't _him_ (his name had become a taboo, it couldn't be uttered without his wall coming crashing down), per se, but a memory.

He wanted to take off his helmet every time he felt it, but he couldn't. No matter how much he wanted to feel _his_ presence again, he couldn't do it. _He_ wanted - no, _needed_ - Erik Lensherr.

He wasn't Erik anymore.

He was Magneto now.

Erik died on that fateful day not so long ago. He died with Herr Doktor and the bond he once had with his friend (or was it enemy now?).

But sometimes, he wondered if Erik was truly dead.

*******~***~Mens rea~***~*******

He felt an odd sense of déjà vu whenever he weaved the crushed bullet in between his fingers. It was just like the coin; a promise from his past.

He stared at the bullet.

He wanted to get rid of it for it only caused him pain (though not as much as the pain _he_ suffered because of it). But every time he tried, he couldn't bring himself to do it. The bullet was the only thing he had left of _him_, besides Raven of course. The memories attached to it were very important to him, no matter how gruesome they were.

It was a token of his guilt.

*********~***~Mens rea~***~*********

For Erik, his anger had always ruled his life.

Then he met _him_.

_He_ taught him that there was more to life, and to himself, than just anger. There was good too. _He_ showed him the point between rage and serenity.

But now, the point was far out of his reach.

He couldn't find serenity anymore and rage was also gone. There was only hate now.

Bitter, cruel hate.

***********~***~Mens rea~***~***********

His emotions had become so strong that every time he heard or saw something that reminded him of _him..._he almost broke down.

The urge became too much, he needed to visit him.

So one night, he ordered Azazel to transport him to Westchester, New York. The teleporter thankfully didn't ask any questions. Once in Westchester, he told Azazel to come back in half an hour.

The journey to the mansion was short.

Everyone was asleep which meant he had no danger of being detected. He floated up to a familiar window and opened it.

_He_ was awake in a flash.

Empty blue eyes bore into his own.

He swallowed thickly and guilt began to bubble inside him. He almost cried when _he_ lied back down and went back to sleep. There was no solace to be found, only more torment.

_'Look at what you've done. You've broken** him**, your only friend.'_

*************~***~Mens rea~***~*************

Erik stared at the dead creature in front of him.

It was a sand shark.

The sand shark was known for the process it goes through before birth, intrauterine cannibalism. The strongest would eat the weaker ones until only he/she was left.

Betrayal against its own siblings.

"You and I aren't that different."

***************~***~Mens rea~***~***************

When he heard about what the bullet did to _him_, he finally allowed a tear to flow. His heart clenched in sadness.

He had hurt _him_ in more ways than he thought possible. He had taken not only _his_ sister but _his_ legs and freedom as well.

He took things from a man who did nothing but give.

He felt like - no, was - a monster.

*****************~***~Mens rea~***~*****************

When he visited _him_ again, he finally faced his friend in the wheelchair.

It felt odd to look down at _him._

_'Look at what you've done. It's all your fault. Your fault. Your fault.'_

But he pushed away all those thoughts away, he came here for a reason. He wanted _his_ forgiveness.

Kneeling, he took _his_ hands and rested his head against them.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." He repeated the words over and over. Even if his voice grew hoarse, he would have never stopped until he was forgiven.

But _he_ retreated from his grasp and wheeled _himself_ towards the window. He followed _him_ and knelt again. He looked deep into _his_ blue orbs and nearly gasped at what he saw.

Not only were _his_ eyes dead_, he_ was dead also.

He couldn't find any emotion, only a cold, steely mask. He searched desperately for even the smallest spark of emotion but he could find nothing. Those blank eyes would forever haunt him, just like the bullet and the scream that tortured his dreams.

He took off his helmet and hoped that _he_ would delve deep into his mind to feel his guilt, remorse and true regret over what had happened between them. He wanted _him_ to know that he really did want forgiveness for his sins.

_He_ didn't even brush against his mind.

A deafening silence fell between them.

*******************~***~Mens rea~***~*******************

After taking one of her little vacations, Raven came back with some news about _him._

_He_ nearly drowned, nearly _died_.

She pressed her hand against his chest and tears started to stream down her cheeks.

"He said my name...He said my name...He was so broken, so _vulnerable_ Erik."

She said as stared at him with angry eyes.

Raven left him to his thoughts shortly afterwards.

_'MonsterMonsterMonster.'_

***********************~***~Mens rea~***~***********************

Erik glared at himself in the mirror.

He growled when his reflection distorted into Herr Doktor.

_'Ah, so the apprentice has finally surpassed its master.'_

Then his mother.

_'Erik...Everything will be alright...'_

Then himself, the monster.

_'You truly are **Frankenstein**.'_

Anger built up inside him and he punched the mirror. It cracked and some pieces fell to the ground, shattering upon impact. He fell to his knees placed a hand to his face, wiping away a stray tear.

But a tear soon turned into many tears. The pain was too much, his walls finally came down and he removed his helmet.

_'Charles...Charles...Charles...I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry...'_

For a moment, he heard a small whisper. It was so quiet he almost missed it.

_"Erik..."_

Then the whisper became a voice. A voice that repeated his name like a broken record.

***********************~***~Mens rea~***~***********************

It was pure coincidence that they met again. He was taking a stroll through the city when he saw him.

"Charles..."

When Charles looked at him and smiled a smile so like the ones before the Cuban Missile Crisis, Erik knew then that everything was going to be fine.

He touched where his heart was and sighed happily.

It was a _human_ heart again.

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><p>The last line is up to you to interpret. For me, it's a reference to Erik becoming a monster. This line, to him, means that he isn't a monster anymore.<p>

My favourite section would have to be the shark one. It was so simple yet the emotion behind it nearly made me stop writing because it was so sad.

Translation:

Mens rea - Guilty mind


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